Aaaaaahhhh

Today was a pretty good day. We were supposed to go up north to be with Scott's family at their vacation home, but his brother came down with the flu last night, so we ended up staying here. My goal for the day became doing nothing but sleeping and holding Ella. I so often feel like I spend my day nursing her, then handing her off to Scott so I can pump, work on my dissertation, do laundry or catch a nap. I end up feeling so sad, realizing that she and I are missing out on precious time that we really need to spend together. I can just feel the difference between us when we have not had that closeness. Today, we had lots of it, though, and it felt really great to be able to rock my baby and watch her sleep for hours.